I had a convo with my bro minutes ago. One I never thought that I would talk about, atleast for now. I was talking about my previous relationship, not literally though.

And as I teared real lightly while telling him about it, he was pleading with me not to cry. I feel so touched.

I told him, "Treat a girl right, Adik. Don't hurt girls. If you want to love, then really love her." I cried. He was gonna wipe my tears but I wiped it myself.

I told him that things had ended in July last year. Preety long ago. But I'm still suffering. I want him to know that guys can be real oblivious when hurting girls. I want him to know that love isn't something to be taken lightly especially for girls like me. I hope he'll be a good boyfriend when he grows up. I love him.

I don't often learn my lesson. I tend to forgive too easily. Hmm. Sidetrack, by the way.

I'm having flashbacks and I'm pondering. If that application at Facebook that you became a fan of was refering to me, I wonder if you really mean it or it was just in a midst of anger. All those good times; could you say you regret them too? All that effort I've put in, regrets?

I wonder how did you make it so easy? You even forgot things that you know, I know so. How?

I came across somewhere saying, "Forgetting easily is a gift." I can't agree less. But unfortunayely, I'm not gifted in that way. Perhaps it's because you are naturally forgetful, which you are 'cause I remember so, which make things so easy for you.

I've more to say, more to open up. I've been bottling my emotions for months. Especially battling with them to put a strong front for the O's. But when I think again, it wouldn't do much if I do so.

He won't care 'cause it was long over and because... he's a... boy. He has moved on. But I can't say that I've not moved on. Somehow, I have but it's the forgetting totally, walking away part that is difficult. I doubt if anyone would fully understand what I feel and it hurts at the thought things are sooo easy for the other party. But, oh well.

Above all, I wouldn't trade anything to have all of that back. I wouldn't.

I'm sorry that my post recently have been emotional. I can't help it. Everytime I blog, it makes me feel better somehow.

Let's pray that I'll be all cheery and all smiles as soon as possible.

I'm okay, I know I am. I'm not crying like a baby. I can still get a grip of my emotions. I only cry when it really hurts. Feel shitty at times but I'm okay. I'm not sucidal, and I won't be. I know so. Ending my beautiful but shit-always-happen life is not worthwhile.

:)

I really wanna thank my readers who care to listen to my emotions and are sensitive enough no to make any judgement (as far as I know). But please don't sympathize me. Encourage me, taht's one thing that would be really kind. :)

But anyways, thank you so much for bearing with my (probably corny) posts. Much loves.

Ps. Feeling better. :)