So it's April already huh? Fourth month of the year. How time flies.

I've been real busy with my family lately. Accompanying Mom here and there. Especially now that she or rather we have to settle some issues first.

So I went out for three straight days this week with my family. I thought of going out alone today to shop for poly's stuff but to no avail. I thought that it might be better if I take a day off from going out. Haha. Tomorrow I'll be heading to my Aunt's place to visit Grandpa.

I'm pretty much occupied this few days/weeks. Next week I'd prolly be busy with running errands with/for Mom or I'd be busy getting clothes/shoes/bag/things for poly. The next week, voila, my poly life begins.

I can't believe school's actually gonna start. Somebody, pinch meh. Hahahaha. But seriously. In a few months I'll be seventeen! I didn't know I could make it through this far. Hahahha. I'm just joking silly.

I'm not so sure if I'm short of cash to buy my things for poly. I hope not. I think I've lots to buy. I still haven't get a bag. I. Am. So. Dead. Why? If you don't know, I am veryyy indecisive when it comes to buying things which would mean that I'd take a long time to decide. So yah, you get what I mean. And to make things difficult, I don't have my laptop with me so I'll have to predict/estimate how big my bag should be. No, I'm not going for backpack. I'm thinking of getting handbag/shoulder bag. Mom agrees so too.

Moving on. I think I've learnt to not care for the male species. I think. Certain things may make me shed a tear once in awhile but I'm able to stand firm, fight urges and to not follow my heart. I'd really like to thank those people who made me weak for those past months 'cause if not for them, I wouldn't not care now. Thanks! (No, really, I meant it)

Let's give examples k. (I want to)

For example... You know there's one of this guys who I've been stupidly waiting and hoping on. And I'd do anything, A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G, just to make him happy or see him smile. I'd be there for him as far as I can. I'd drop by a text or two after not contacting for some time just to let him know that I'm there for him. All that but at the end of the day, I get NOTHING, literally n-o-t-h-i-n-g. Not even a 'Sorry, I hurt you with my fucking ego.' or 'Sorry, I just had to hurt you with those harsh words cause I really like that friend of yours' or even 'Sorry I was mad at you cause you did nothing wrong and I am too egoistic.'

This guy was the guy I shared my New Years' Resolutions for 2010. I told him that one of it is to stop caring for those people that I put in so much effort for and get nothing in the end. I'm doing it now, didn't know I'd be doing it to this person.

But now I couldn't care for that guy 'cause I've realized how much time and effort I've wasted and how it did not bring any good to myself but just pain. That's baddd, bad for a girl like me. HAHAHA wtf. Just joking. But it's bad, right? Hahaha.

Or for example that one guy who made things difficult for me throughout the last or two years back. Made me cry literally a river and who happily walked away with another and even happily talked about his "another" to me. I didn't heard a sorry from him either. I should be hearing something like, 'Sorry, I wasted too much of your time. I should've just been a jerk right from the beginning and not make you stall all those years' or 'Sorry I just had to cheat on you with a girl that has the same name as you.' or the simplest of all 'Sorry I was a jerk'.

But now I couldn't care. I can't find something to care about. I can't seem to say what to care about specifically.

Those people do not have to say 'sorry' now. I've forgiven them all 'cause they've made me realized that things are wayyyy better when you do not care.

Yesterday night assured myself that I really couldn't care especially to the first guy 'cause the incident last night just made me went, "Haha. Tsk." and then I put my phone away.

Maybe somewhere deep deep deeppp inside of my head is really exhausted from all the trying yeah? I feel that all the emotional pain or the effort being put in to actually let them know you're there is really tiring.

Things ARE really better when you learn not to care.

A woman should never follow her heart too much. 'Cause if a woman gets emotional, she may be too dependable and women mustn't be dependable especially towards men. Because those men may walk out of your life anytime. That's when they'll find there world crumbling down.

Just like Liy's pm on MSN earlier today, "leave before left".

Moving on.

Liy's on leave on the first week of my school. I really hope I can meet her one of the days. The last time I met her was during JAE's posting which was in January if I'm not wrong.

I've yet to meet Syiqs also. Last I met her was results. Lagi lama dohhhh. Hahhaha.

Oh oh oh. My hair is actually growing. It felt sooo short after I cut it but now it's actually not that short. It's quite long somehow but not long long. K, I don't know what I'm talking about. Hahahah.

And now that I'm using Dove's Dry Therapy shampoo, my hair feels alot healthier. (Y)

I don't have anything else to talk about for now. Till then, have a good April people!

PS. I know lots of people whose birthday falls on this month. :)