There are too many things going on my mind right now. Just too many.
I can't seem to sort them out, talk it out one by one. Too much going on. I can just talk and perhaps I may jump topic to topic. I don't know.
Ever since then, it's been difficult for me to cry to make myself feel better. They say crying would make you feel better and it really did for me every time.
I wish I could pour out everything's that going on my mind and what's my heart saying with words but I can't seem to. It's going nowhere. I only have time to make things better. Nothing to speed up the process of getting all these pass, not even tears.
I wonder what makes me this way. Is it because I'm too emotionally scarred from all the crying back then that there's nothing to cry for now or is it that I've grown stronger.
But I think it wouldn't be right if I said I was stronger now. I feel that I'm still the same. THere are some days where I feel I've changed but when my emotional moments strike, I guess I thought wrong.
It's funny how memories tend to appear more often when you're distant from them.
It's wrong to say that I've not moved on. 'Cause it feels like I have. But it makes me wonder, if so, why am I still recalling things when there are things that happen now which may associate from the past.
Over all, I'm well aware that I'm not ready to meet someone new. I think.
Hmm. It's just that today made me realized that I'm still as insecure, still untrusting and still recalling and talking about things from the past. But above this, I am very sure that there's no feelings of missing the memories or the person. Hmm. So, why? What? Hmm. I don't know.
I've been pondering on this since evening. Now, I'm having a splitting headache. I feel like dissecting my head and taking out the cause of the throbbing pain inside my head. But this is a norm I guess? I used to get migraines more often than now. Sometimes the cause of it: thinking too much.
Hah. Sad huh. If only I used this "skill" on studies, wouldn't it be great? Hmm. Oh wells.
When will all this end? And I wonder, would praying to get over or forget someone/memories, work? Can you really forget someone/something by just praying? I hope it would.
I can't seem to sort them out, talk it out one by one. Too much going on. I can just talk and perhaps I may jump topic to topic. I don't know.
Ever since then, it's been difficult for me to cry to make myself feel better. They say crying would make you feel better and it really did for me every time.
I wish I could pour out everything's that going on my mind and what's my heart saying with words but I can't seem to. It's going nowhere. I only have time to make things better. Nothing to speed up the process of getting all these pass, not even tears.
I wonder what makes me this way. Is it because I'm too emotionally scarred from all the crying back then that there's nothing to cry for now or is it that I've grown stronger.
But I think it wouldn't be right if I said I was stronger now. I feel that I'm still the same. THere are some days where I feel I've changed but when my emotional moments strike, I guess I thought wrong.
It's funny how memories tend to appear more often when you're distant from them.
It's wrong to say that I've not moved on. 'Cause it feels like I have. But it makes me wonder, if so, why am I still recalling things when there are things that happen now which may associate from the past.
Over all, I'm well aware that I'm not ready to meet someone new. I think.
Hmm. It's just that today made me realized that I'm still as insecure, still untrusting and still recalling and talking about things from the past. But above this, I am very sure that there's no feelings of missing the memories or the person. Hmm. So, why? What? Hmm. I don't know.
I've been pondering on this since evening. Now, I'm having a splitting headache. I feel like dissecting my head and taking out the cause of the throbbing pain inside my head. But this is a norm I guess? I used to get migraines more often than now. Sometimes the cause of it: thinking too much.
Hah. Sad huh. If only I used this "skill" on studies, wouldn't it be great? Hmm. Oh wells.
When will all this end? And I wonder, would praying to get over or forget someone/memories, work? Can you really forget someone/something by just praying? I hope it would.