Idk what has gotten into me of recent. It seems that the girl who usually rationale herself out of things is fading out. And my emotions are seem to get the best of me. Hmm.
I'm trying to find out what when wrong. Why am I like this?
The flashbacks seem more vivid than ever, but it's not like it's not normal. It's such a normal thing to reminisce and get flashbacks that it doesn't bother me anymore. But the thing is that, these past few days, it's been affecting me. It bothers me so much. I just wish it'd go away; this sadness that comes along with flashbacks.
I've always believed that it's okay to cry. Especially for girls, it's definitely okay to cry. When you cry, it's like a form of relief from the pain and emotions you're feeling and once you're done crying, you get a clearer mind and you'll appear stronger. Idk if that applies to everyone but it has always applied to me.
Not that I cry alot. In fact, I don't. It's not easy for me to cry, especially of recent.
Which means... all these sadness I feel is piling up. I'm just waiting to break through this emotions. Hmm. I don't know...
Sometimes, I feel it's ridiculous. To feel all these when he really doesn't care. And it's not like it's once or twice that I feel this way. Hmm.
I know it'll be over, sooner or later. But I'm just tired. Tired of feeling this over and over again. I wish to break out of this cycle. It'd really draining me; these negative emotions.
Please, I wish this to be over soon. But don't get me wrong. I'm okay. Really. Just bumped once in awhile but I'll be fine sooner or later. :)
P.s. Imy, hands down. But it's not like it means anything anymore or if it matters anymore. But what makes me feel worse is that, knowing that I miss you and I can't do anything about that but to suck it in, as always.